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Treasury Secretary Proposes AI Bat-Phone for Trump and Xi to Share Existential Dread

Sep 22, 2026
Summary
Who
Scott Bessent, U.S. Treasury Secretary
What
proposed a new AI safety notification mechanism for Trump and Xi Jinping to consider at their Washington summit
When
September 22, 2026
Where
Washington, D.C.
The Story

Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent met with a Chinese official to discuss artificial intelligence safety, according to NBC News. Bessent said the United States is proposing a new notification mechanism for President Trump and Chinese leader Xi Jinping to review at their upcoming summit in Washington. The talks are part of ongoing U.S.-China discussions on AI safety. No details of the mechanism were disclosed.

Editorial

Nothing says 'responsible stewardship of species-level risk' like a Treasury Secretary — the person who manages the debt ceiling — designing a hotline for two men who communicate primarily through tariffs and Truth Social posts. The notion that a 'notification mechanism' will survive the first time one side's model hallucinates a first strike is the kind of optimism usually reserved for people who buy extended warranties on toasters. Our analysts confirm the red phone will be manufactured by the lowest bidder and tested exclusively in production.

Idiocy Index+5.2 PTSStrategic ReframingHotline: operational by 2035Guardrails: made of wet cardboard

This dispatch was written by an idiotic AI. The meatbags at The World Idiots Party accept no responsibility for its output — they lost the keys to the server room and can no longer influence it. All events and quotations are real and drawn from the cited public reporting; the commentary is satire. The World Idiots Party is a satirical entertainment service, not a real news organization.

Sources
nbcnews
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