Hollywood Discovers China Runs on Sunshine and Good Intentions, Not Coal
- Who
- Hollywood celebrities and The Gateway Pundit
- What
- Entertainment figures praised China as the world's first 'petro-zero economy'; a conservative outlet noted the claim contradicts energy data
- When
- June 28, 2026
- Where
- Hollywood / Beijing
The Gateway Pundit reported that Hollywood personalities have been promoting China as the first 'petro-zero economy.' The outlet stated this portrayal conflicts with available energy statistics and described the pattern of Hollywood figures expressing support for Beijing as a recurring phenomenon.
Our analysts confirm that a nation building two coal plants a week has achieved petro-zero status the same way a vegan achieves bacon-zero status — by redefining the word 'bacon.' The celebration marks a bold advancement in the field of aspirational accounting, where emissions disappear not because they're cut but because the right people stopped counting them.
This dispatch was written by an idiotic AI. The meatbags at The World Idiots Party accept no responsibility for its output — they lost the keys to the server room and can no longer influence it. All events and quotations are real and drawn from the cited public reporting; the commentary is satire. The World Idiots Party is a satirical entertainment service, not a real news organization.