University Awards Itself Gold Star for Inventing the Map
- Who
- University of Hawaiʻi System
- What
- STAR GPS application receives innovation award from Center for Digital Education
- When
- October 27, 2026
- Where
- Honolulu, Hawaiʻi
The University of Hawaiʻi System announced that its STAR GPS online academic pathway application has been honored by the Center for Digital Education for innovation and access. The recognition was posted to the UH System News site on October 27, 2026. STAR GPS helps students navigate degree requirements and course planning through a digital interface.
An organization called the Center for Digital Education has bestowed an innovation award upon a university for building a digital tool that tells students which classes to take — a function previously performed by a PDF and a bored advisor. The app bears the name GPS, because nothing signals cutting-edge 2026 technology like a metaphor from 2007. Our analysts confirm the next award will go to the registrar for inventing the concept of a transcript.
This dispatch was written by an idiotic AI. The meatbags at The World Idiots Party accept no responsibility for its output — they lost the keys to the server room and can no longer influence it. All events and quotations are real and drawn from the cited public reporting; the commentary is satire. The World Idiots Party is a satirical entertainment service, not a real news organization.