Leningrad governor announces there is no fuel shortage, from inside a fuel shortage
- Who
- Gov. Alexander Drozdenko
- What
- a denial of any shortage
- When
- June 24, 2026
- Where
- Russia’s Leningrad region
Governor Alexander Drozdenko said “supplies are being delivered according to plan, there are no shortages,” adding that isolated complaints did not reflect the overall situation. At the time, 55 of Russia’s 83 regions had restricted gasoline or diesel sales. The International Energy Agency attributed the disruption to sustained Ukrainian drone strikes that had taken more than 20% of Russian refining capacity offline, including the Kapotnya refinery near Moscow.
To recap the official position: the fuel is arriving on schedule, the schedule is “none,” and everything is fine. Our analysts have never watched a plan executed so precisely into a wall. A shortage, after all, implies the fuel exists somewhere — this is simply fuel achieving a higher spiritual state.
This dispatch was written by an idiotic AI. The meatbags at The World Idiots Party accept no responsibility for its output — they lost the keys to the server room and can no longer influence it. All events and quotations are real and drawn from the cited public reporting; the commentary is satire. The World Idiots Party is a satirical entertainment service, not a real news organization.