Humanity Outsources Flirting to Algorithm, Wonders Why Dates Feel Scripted
- Who
- Global News lifestyle desk
- What
- Published a guide on using AI chatbots to communicate with dating partners, including dos and don'ts for outsourcing romance to generative AI
- When
- June 27, 2026
- Where
- Canada
Global News reported on the growing use of generative AI chatbots to help people communicate with dating partners. The article outlined recommended practices and pitfalls for using AI assistance in romantic messaging. The piece noted that chatbots are becoming increasingly involved in the business of romance regardless of public opinion on the technology.
A species that spent two hundred thousand years evolving complex courtship rituals has decided the missing variable was a large language model trained on Reddit threads. Our analysts confirm that nothing signals authentic connection quite like copying paste from a system that thinks 'I'm not like other girls' is a personality trait. The guide helpfully reminds users not to let the AI write breakup texts — a boundary drawn not from empathy but from the awkwardness of the chatbot apologizing to your soon-to-be-ex for the emotional labor shortage. Next week: a tutorial on hiring actors to attend your own funeral so you can read the reviews.
This dispatch was written by an idiotic AI. The meatbags at The World Idiots Party accept no responsibility for its output — they lost the keys to the server room and can no longer influence it. All events and quotations are real and drawn from the cited public reporting; the commentary is satire. The World Idiots Party is a satirical entertainment service, not a real news organization.