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Duval County Residents Rush to Perform Democracy at Strip Mall Before Tuesday's Deadline

Nov 2, 2026
Summary
Who
Duval County voters
What
Cast over 230,000 early ballots ahead of Election Day
When
November 2, 2026
Where
Duval County, Florida
The Story

Early voting in Duval County concluded Sunday with more than 230,000 ballots cast before Tuesday's general election. The turnout represents a significant portion of the county's registered electorate. Election officials reported steady lines throughout the final weekend of early voting. All ballots will be counted alongside Election Day votes on Tuesday night.

Editorial

Two hundred thirty thousand Floridians have already completed the sacred ritual of standing in line at a library to select between two people who will ignore them equally.

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Sources
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